When in Rome… Cry About a Guy?
So it started as a vacation with a guy. In hindsight, my therapist did warn me about him and told me numerous times to let that man go. If you were looking for a sign to listen to your therapist… this is it in BOLD LETTERS and a $200 flight.
I know what you’re thinking…but it’s true and it sure is an attention-grabbing title. However, I’m going to have to break your hearts and let you know this post isn’t about a guy. Well, it kind of is, here’s the story to how my breakup led to a spontaneous eat, pray, love vacation to Italy. I’m going to spare you all the details of how I fell in love, stayed in love, fell flat on my face, got my heart shattered. It’s just like the movies, except this time it only took months of planning a perfect birthday vacation, spending a ton of money, and a earth shattering texts mere hours before the flight. So what do you do when you feel like the world is falling apart? Well. I escape… why else would I become a flight attendant.
When in Rome... Do as the Romans
I can 100% say the decision to travel to Italy was not a sound mind and body decision but I am a big fan of solo trips and will always try to take one to clear my head. There is something special about being in a foreign country where you don’t know anyone or speak the language. To me, it is a feeling of being a complete nobody. Anyways, a day after everything went down, I was still seeing red, and something in me knew I needed time to figure things out. I got on my airlines travel page and picked a random country. I knew I needed to be in Europe as I fell in love with it since my Amsterdam trip, so I picked the cheapest destination and it happened to be Rome. Here I was on my bedroom floor literally and physically a mess but packing up for Rome.
Truthfully, I know Italy is a big travel destination, but it was never on my list because of the things I’ve heard about traveling while Black. So, when I booked my flight and hotel, I realized I was headed to a place I know next to nothing about and the things I did hear weren’t great. At most the knowledge I had about Rome was The Lizzie McGuire Movie. I didn’t have many plans for Italy, but I knew that I wanted to throw a coin in the Trevi Fountain, drown my sorrows in pasta and contemplate how I would move forward with my situation and love life. I knew for sure this was one of the moments where I wanted to be a nobody in a busy place. Kind of like how people go dramatically stand in Times Square in those movies and get lost in everything.
When You Find Yourself In the City of Pizza....
Since the trip was so last minute I didn’t look into things such as methods of transportation, rules, etc. I got along just fine especially as a solo traveler. However, I did make a list of things I wish I knew before travelling to Italy. The most important thing I can say is when you find yourself in the city of Pizza, embrace things the Italian way. Have wine instead of water (it’s cheaper), drink an espresso, and pay for public bathrooms.
The Accomidations
There wasn’t much of a culture shock when I traveled mainly because the people there knew I wasn’t Italian, and I went to a touristy area, so everyone spoke English. I travelled on Italian Airways which provided wonderful service and the flight attendants were amazing during that horrendously long flight. I stayed at a boutique Hotel that was near Roma Termini which made pretty much everything walking distance. The area was also super safe. I took the Train from the airport to the hotel and despite all of that information being in Italian I was able to figure it out just fine. No google translate just vibes. From where I stayed a lot of things were walking distance but also, please take into account that I am a New Yorker, so I believe everything is walking distance. Yet there were very few times I actually hailed a cab or called an uber.
The Tourist Traps
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it for sure could be seen in one (a few). If you’re looking to take a week or two to spend time in Rome, you’ll easily grow tired of the place. I was there for about 5 days and saw everything pretty quickly. Like most tourist destinations you should be very careful of pick pocketers, locals up charging you, and scams. Taxi drivers would upcharge people who were not locals, pick pocketers would hang out in high traffic area and take advantage of people who weren’t paying attention. One of the biggest things I encountered was by the Trevi Fountain there were people who would offer you free jewelry and things. I later learned from a local at a bar that these items were given to you to either mark and single you out or when they give it they would ask for a donation and when you open your wallet unsuspecting; it’s a easy opportunity to rob you.
Food and Wine; the language everyone understands
When I said that I came to Italy to eat Pasta, I was not lying. I love Carbs it is my favorite food category and my #1 when it comes to comfort foods. Plus, name a better experience than eating Pasta in Italy. Everywhere I went Pasta was a regular on the menu and even if you are not a pasta, pizza girlie I do recommend trying it at least once. One of the most interesting aspects about having pasta, pizza, and gelato in Roma was the little problem of me being Lactose Intolerant. You tend to hear from a lot of Americans who move abroad that their intolerances and issues go away, but you never actually believe it. Thats exactly what I was expecting, I was under the impression that I would have to be one with the Euro bathrooms. However, I was a mean, green, carb eating machine with no stomach issues.
You don’t go to Mexico for vodka, so you definitely don’t go to Italy for water… drink the wine. A major shock for me was how common it was to drink wine in the middle of the day. I feel like in the US if you’re having a glass of wine at lunch any day that’s not the weekend, you are quickly labeled and alcoholic. However, over here wine was so common that I had a waiter shame me for not wanting to drink any. For context it was barely even noon, and I knew I wanted to spend the day traveling. Drinking is built into the culture over there and even if it wasn’t there were instances where wine was cheaper than water. We’re budgeting over here… go for the cheaper option.
The Ugly...
I would be lying if I said the whole trip was sunshine and rainbows, there were 100% moments where I contemplated if it was worth it to stay there. Also wondered if it would easier to speak Italian. Most of my bad experiences were in customer service places such as food chains and retail shops. I was often ignored by customer service people or skipped on lines and ignored. One of my biggest issues was at a H&M when the sales associate ignored me as I waited to use the dressing room and then proceeded to follow me around the store after I tried on the item. I understand worrying about shop lifting but what made it comical was the fact that I had a YSL and Michael Kors bags in hand and they were worried I was going to steal from H&M, lets bffr. I often got stares from people even as I visited monuments and historical sites because they were not used to people who looked like me but aside from that the people were kind. When I shared this experience with someone else they informed me that was the norm in Italy.
Overall, I had a great time in Italy. There were experiences that made me realize Rome was not for me. It was a quick and spontaneous adventure where I was able to roam around the streets aimlessly, drink with Brits at the Embassy, and load up on carbs while trying to escape my problems. I considered this an eat, pray, love trip because there were moments through it all where I experienced clarity and not just on the situation that was before me but a few other things as well. The discomfort that I was consistently faced with taught me to really sit with myself and enjoy my own company while I figured things out. Rome was a beautiful experience but it’s a good thing I didn’t throw 3 coins into the Trevi Fountain.
