The Zillenial Life Crisis: Losing Your Twenties to 2020
There is no actual definition for Zillenial but TikTok has pretty much made it clear what one is. I am one and if you’re reading this, I can almost bet you are one too. I am 9 months away from turning 25 and my quarter-life crisis is on my tail. 25 feels less like age and more like a jail sentence. I think anyone born in ’96 and ’97 has that really weird cloud over their head that is 25. In the past, 25 meant: “Oh, no! I’m practically 30″, now, in the age of the panini press, 25 symbolizes all of the things the past year has aggressively ripped away from me. I spoke to a couple of friends who were either my age or around it, and they had similar things to say. This is the Zillenial Life Crisis and how 2020 stole our Twenties.
My Zillenial Life Crisis
I first want to start off by saying, not everyone has the same experience. Some people have thrived and grown throughout the pandemic; unfortunately, I was not one of those people. If you happen to find your purpose during the past year and a half of turmoil, I absolutely love that for you and wish that you continue to thrive. If you are like me and this time has left you lost, jobless, and dog sitting for the occasional dollar, this one is for you boo.
The calm before the storm
I started 2020 off AMAZINGLY. I traveled to Amsterdam, working towards a new job, and practically living alone. I had plans that by the end of the year, not only would I be thriving in my career, but I would be able to have a decent NYC apartment and decent mental health. I’ll never forget Thursday, March 12, 2020, because that’s when everything started to go downhill. All of the goals I was working to achieve just went, poof.
Still, I think we New Yorkers were really optimistic throughout it all. I was convinced my job would re-open, convinced my living situation would change. Most importantly, I KNEW that unemployment and this runt I was in would be temporary. So we had a good time, spent our days making whipped coffee, binge watching tv, and doing zoom happy hours. It was a well needed break, because it was temporary, or so we thought. It’s May of 2021, and sure everything did change, but not the way I expected it to. Regardless, nothing really hit me in those first few months or at least while I was 23, and then I turned 24.
Turning 24 was a wake-up call!
Suddenly 25 was closer than ever, and I was aggressively reminded that I was the only sibling to be this far in their twenties living at home. Tax season came, and looking at my 2019 versus 2020 paystubs broke my heart. Listening to my older siblings speak about their twenties while currently living through mine made me realize some things.
- I really need to move out ASAP
- I really should be in my career by now
- WHY AM I STILL UNWED?
- I really should start seeing a therapist
and much more. There was this crippling anxiety surrounded by where I was in life and all of the goals that I haven’t met. It could be fears triggered by my sun sign but I knew there was much more to it. There were so many expectations I had for myself. Some of which were based on my Millennial and Gen X siblings, others based on society, and not meeting any of them started to take a toll on me.
2020: The Year that Screwed Us Mentally
There are articles about how Young Adults (i.e. us) have been hit the hardest by loneliness and mental disorders during these times. Loneliness aside, there are a few things these articles do not speak on. Many Young adults who before the pandemic were stable in all aspects of their life experienced an unnerving change, and that was moving back home. People in their early twenties could not afford their housing. Faced with the choice of becoming homeless or moving home, it’s obvious why people would opt to return to their childhood bedrooms.
This physical move caused a regression to childhood-like behavior or the co-dependency we once had on our parents. While this may not seem bad to some, please remember the people on TikTok hiding in their cars just so they wouldn’t be in the house. Moving back in with parents could be either a blessing or a stressful experience. Some therapists have noticed a spike in visits from Young Adults who are currently working through the past year The past year has been the cause of therapy for many people. If you’re not seeing one now, you’ll be seeing one soon.
20-30 The Defining Decade
We’re so caged in by what we think our Twenties should be like that we aren’t accounting for the fact that the world is ending around us. Sure, you don’t have that fortune 500 job. Yes, you are not the boss yet, or maybe not even employed, but just living through our current times is hard. Why are you expecting more out of yourself?
They push so much of our success into our early twenties that now that we’re here and we don’t have that fortune 500 jobs and marriage by 25, it’s panic-inducing. Where is the job stability, where is the marriage and kids, and where are the homes? We’re right back where we were in our teenage years, and it can make you feel small. If this is the decade that defines the rest of my life, what am I doing wrong?
You graduate college, and you’re given 6 months to find a job, and then the loan sharks come for you. In a pandemic, 6 months is not enough. Some of us threw ourselves into the job stability that we saw our parents didn’t have after the recession for us to now know none. It’s a depressing time, but we have all of these deeply rooted expectations from society on where we should be in life now. Seeing as I am approaching 25, my therapist and I have been speaking about it a lot. While I knew there were some expectations set by society that was bothering me, subconsciously, there were a lot more just digging around out there.
Dealing With Dread
Truthfully, there is no cure to the dread that we’ve all been feeling about our twenties. It seems like the best years of our lives have been taken away. I’m constantly fighting to prove to people that I am doing the best that I can, I am also showing to older siblings and explaining why I am not where they were at my age. I thought my twenties were going to be roaring. Instead, I got terrible social skills and more mental health issues.
It’s important to not let societal standards come and kick you in the ass. Yeah, I’m a quarter to 100, and I am nowhere near where I thought I would be, but I also did not plan a pandemic in my life schedule. Every single person who is in our age group is fighting some kind of battle right now. There is no blueprint for your early to mid-twenties through this. So why not take a breather and figure it out ourselves?
In The End
Twenty-Five knocking at my front door is only an impending jail sentence if I let it. Sure, I’m not barhopping after my 9-5, casually dating until 27, networking for my thirties, and thriving in all aspects that I thought I would. I am also the sibling who, at 24, is not in their own home, career, and partnership. However, I am the sibling who is trying to make the best out of the hardships the past year has thrown at me. I’m the Twenty-something-year-old who had everything within my grasp and lost it because no one accounted for 2020, and that’s okay. We live, we learn, we change. I think it’s important to focus on the little achievements we have made over the past year. Smile at the little victories, even if it’s making your childhood bedroom more work-appropriate, so no one sees that 1D poster from 2013. You’ll only lose your twenties to these uncertainties if you allow yourself to.
