The One Where She Realized She Was Obsessed
Gen Z-ers (which I totally am a part of but refuse to acknowledge for the life of me) were born with a smart phone in their right hand and a selfie stick in their left. Granted, this generation has really shown us what they can achieve with twitter fingers and influence, but they miss out on all of the best experiences trying to catch the moment for social media. They have Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok; and that’s fine but I’m a firm believer that some memories should be kept to yourselves. It’s like when you go to a wedding, and everyone has their phones out recording the moment rather than living in it? Younger Millennials and Gen Z-ers are addicted to their phones and while I, the girl who grew up outside never thought I would fall under the same umbrella as these mindless zombies, a few short days without my phone showed me exactly how hypocritical I was.
The final holiday weekend of summer was in full swing the easiest way to know fall was approaching in Brooklyn was the West Indian Day Parade hosted every Labor Day to celebrate all of our cultures. While gallivanting down eastern parkway I “lost track” of my phone. My immediate response was panic, my phone was nothing special, a couple generations behind kind of iPhone, yet it ended up in the hands of someone who was not me nor any of my friends. Obviously, I lost my shit, I ran up and down the parade path looking for my phone with my location on one of my friends’ phones. Looking for a lost phone in a parade as big as that was like looking for a needle in a haystack, so I ultimately gave up and so began the worst week of my life (talk about dramatic much).
Not to sound dramatic (while very much being so) this was the first time in my life since I was a kid that I didn’t have a phone. My parents gave me my first phone when I was a preteen, and I didn’t realize how attached I became to having that little device. I was a complete mess when I got home but also grateful for the landline my mother has refused to get rid of. After a few anxious conversations with apple’s customer service and a replacement fee I did not have; I was blessed with the opportunity to know that in 2-3 business days I would have a phone again. Yet there was still this huge sense of dread. It was 9pm on a holiday weekend, everyone I knew was outside drunker than a mf. What was I worried about? Why did I feel like I was experiencing FOMO but fomo on what? Bless my parents who saw the anxiety and immediately gave me one of their other phones as a replacement for the time being, but we’re they just enabling the attachment.
I think I syked myself out because the temp phone was an android and as an avid iPhone user, I expected to confine myself to my room like a child on punishment. The feeling in my chest was equivalent to the black clouds on the horizon daunting you as the storm began to make its way over. There is nothing you can do to stop the impending storm or in my case phonelessness? I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat, I really felt myself falling into a depression. Yes, over the fact that I did not have a phone. There were also some feelings of guilt about being careless enough to let my phone get snatched up like that, but my parents weren’t mad, so did I really feel like this because of the mistake I made? Although my parents were not upset, I was paying for what happened with my disconnection to the world.
I was abruptly forced into a virtual cleanse. Unlike the celebrities who come back all carefree and happy, I felt miserable. While I wasn’t too worried about the going ons of my social media, I wanted to be sure that my people could reach me. I didn’t realize how much I was attached to my phone until then. There was no easy way to check my emails first thing in the morning, I had to watch the news for the weather, I was out of touch with reality. As useful as a phone is this was such a huge distraction. Time felt as if it was moving slower, I was left alone with my thoughts, I was stuck in habits I didn’t even knew I adapted. I would feel a general sense of anxiety if I couldn’t feel my phone, I would wake up in the middle of the night to check for messages, I felt like I couldn’t function if my phone wasn’t nearby.
This experience as short as it was definitely put me in check. After those short 3 days I felt whole when my new I Phone Screen lit up. I was excited to be connected with my phone and people again but deep down I realized that I might of had a problem. It was scary to see this little device had so much control over who I was and my life, and in my opinion I am not even on my phone as much as the rest of my generation. I am an experiences kind of person; I like human contact, I hate when people spend all of their time on their phones instead of focusing on what is in front of them. Yet, I turned out to be one of those people. It has been proven that high screen times are contributing to why we have such short attention spans but is it also giving us attachment issues? Ask yourself this: When was the last time I sat with myself without a device? Looked someone in the eye during conversation? It is important to take some time to unplug; start with an hour and work your way up to a week.
