PCOS… More Than an Acronym for Broken
Disclaimer: This post with originally published on HearHerSpeak.com where I am a contributing writer for their brand. This post has been updated to fit my readers so some discrepancies may be noticed
Do gender stereotypes do more harm than good to a child? During my formative years, I remember how important it was to be girly. I needed to wear pretty dresses, like feminine colors, and even speak “girly”. I wasn’t much of a tomboy per se, but I wasn’t akin to your average girl. I preferred shows like Ben 10 and Generator Rex over Barbie and her 700 movies. As I got older, I was bullied for these things… then I hit puberty. My peach fuzz was a little too dark, my voice didn’t have that same high pitch as everyone else, I wasn’t “girly” anymore. At least that’s how it looked everywhere now, it never made me feel different. I never felt less than or questioned my womanhood until I turned 18.
I started seeing a GYN because that’s just one of the things you’re taught that an adult woman should do. I walked into the office with plans of getting on Birth Control and left with a diagnosis for PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, a fancy medical way of saying you can’t have kids. To be transparent PCOS/PCOD is not the end, with proper care, fertility is possible. However, this is not the way my doctor explained it to me. In fact, she pulled up a chair and told me, “You can’t have kids”. I don’t know about you guys, but that’s not something you want to hear when you’re 18 with your whole life ahead of you. So, I did what any proper teenager would do, I went home and cried to my mom.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is an invisible illness. Its symptoms aren’t drastic, and many people tend to dismiss it, but there’s a lot more to it that people don’t know.
Things such as:
- PCOS is one of the top causes of infertility- but it doesn’t mean you cannot get pregnant.
- PCOS is quite common: it affects 1 in 10 women of Childbearing Age.
- PCOS is linked to many other health problems (anxiety, depression, diabetes, etc.)
The thing about PCOS is that it is caused by a hormonal imbalance, and while we can find all the ways possible to regulate your hormones, there is no cure or treatment for it. In fact, most doctors will just throw you birth control and send you on your way until you’re ready to get pregnant. From experience, I can say that birth control doesn’t really do much it’s just wreaking havoc on your already sensitive system.
Fast forward about 5 years, and I am living with PCOS, but I don’t like to tell people that I have it. Why? Well, it makes dating a little complicated. When people bring up children, it’s not fun to tell someone that it’s possibly impossible. It always comes up in conversations about weight, PCOS is linked to weight loss problems. I work out just as much as the average gal, but with insulin resistance, weight loss is a bit harder. Most importantly, people tend to think it’s a made-up illness. Millions of women struggle with the same syndrome that I have, and sometimes it makes you feel defeated. I still want my 2.5 kids, a house, and a dog, I want marriage, and most importantly, I want stable mental health but when you suffer from PCOS, people tend to make these things seem impossible. It’s impossible to lose weight, it’s impossible to have kids, it’s impossible to date unless you hide from them that you suffer from PCOS. It seems like the only word you ever hear is impossible, and it can kind of make you feel defeated.
I get sick of reading posts about people who found love with PCOS. Does a hormonal imbalance make me any less worth loving? I get tired of seeing the looks on the faces of doctors when my weight begins fluctuating again; what matters is I’m trying my hardest. For years I struggled with the fact that I have PCOS, brushed off by loved ones and my problems ignored, PCOS made me feel lonely, broken, and worthless. It’s one of those things nobody speaks about, so you never know who is also going through your struggles. While I still don’t scream to the rooftops that I have PCOS, I am more comfortable speaking about it. I have learned ways to manage living with PCOS, and I have learned that it will not make or break me, BUT, I know there are people out there who are now where I was 5 years ago. I want them to know that just because you have PCOS/PCOD you are not any less of a woman. Your fertility does not define you, your weight does not define you, and you never have to convince someone your PCOS is real.
